It's been over 2 months now or something. Things been alright lately. I got a new camera called Kodak Easyshare One or something like that and Mimi got jealous lol. Everything has been going great, but then it seems that Dae, Mimi, Lue, and I are not hanging out that much. And somehow I think that I've been spending too much time with Doua that my feeling are feeling dull with her somehow. I've been feeling kinda dead this past week, don't know if it's my current lifestyle or maybe I'm feeling like not changing my life. Tomorrow, or today (12am) I'm going to go to this one temp. place and fill out an application for employment. I'm not sure if it's a temp. since there web site is only part-time and full-time jobs but it won't hurt to try. I just got to say that I really really need a car to go out and do something. I feel like I'm being house-arrested by my parents in a way since they always tell me not to go out at all and to stay home and watch the house. I have a feelings that they don't want to see me go and live my own life. I feel like they are spoiling me yet I don't want to get spoiled. So I hope that getting a job will help me make a change in my life. I feel like the days doesn't change at all, like how it's deja vu every single day, but with a slight change in the days. I must have lost my mind confined in my own house. *sigh* Man I feel weird, since it's late now I'm going to go to sleep now.

It's been long since I ever came back on. I don't know why, but I feel like coming to live journal only to tell the worst part of my day or something. Anyways, I just found out today that my younger sister Kaochoua did something unexpected. I don't know why she hates her own family including me, but I found out that she was going to be a candidate at the Hmong new year at the Minneapolis Metro-dome. So my mom helped sow her dress too. Then when Hmong new year came,(my parents were also listening in on the radio too) she was suppose to give out her speech or whatever but she was suppose to bring one of her parents to represent her or something, but my sister brought one of our cousins to represented her. Then she went on stage (we just know from the radio) and she was saying things about herself then she said that she wouldn't have gotten where she is now without her cousin, because she have no parents. My mom heard it on the radio and she just had tears running down her face, and saying "how can Kaochoua be so cruel to me after all these years of raising her up to this point." Afterwards, my cousin went and told her mom about what my sister said up on stage, then she told my mom but then my mom already knew. So I kinda overheard it a little bit. What I got to say to my sister is "you're the defined words of selfishness, and cold-hearted." My mom also told me that she was going to ask her boyfriend if he really like my sister, if he does then my mom is going to force marriage them together, because it seems like that already, since my sister been sleeping at his house everyday for over this past year. Yes! even now she is sleeping at his house like she is his wife. My mom is just making it official heh. And my body is freaking sore as heck because of my rough exercise, it was like iron-man exercise where it's non-stop exercise. Other than that my life is okay. I'll talk about it in my next entry or something.

Current Mood: sore

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I put gum in bakawatta's hair (-12 points). In October I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In April I pushed infamousluvluv in the mud (-17 points). In March I gave ki_yang a kidney (1000 points). In August I helped ki_yang see the light (8 points). Overall, I've been nice (1305 points). For Christmas I deserve a Sony Playstation 3! Sincerely, wang-kun

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I felt lazy these past days but I'll type the days I miss and plus today. 2 days ago it was just me and dae, that was not so busy like everyone else, and dae decided to go to century college to get an application. So I tagged along and I just remembered that Doua and I made plans that day to go to the mall to go Christmas shopping so I tried to get back before 4pm or something. After getting the application we went to Doua's place and it turned out that she left with Joua and her friends, over 6 girls I heard. And doua left a message to her mom, and her mom told me that doua said that I know who to call to get a hold of her. So I guessed joua but I forgot her cell phone number, so then I called yee and yee wasn't picking up at all. So dae and I went back to my place because I had joua number at my house. So I called joua and asked for doua, and doua told me that she is going shopping with her girlfriends and if it was ok with me. I told her if that's what she wants then she should just shop without me. I also told her that I'm going to go out then since I have no reason to stay home for and she told me to go have fun. So basically I take this as Doua going shopping with her friends and not me anymore. And that she didn't need me that day. And I confirmed it with her that I am going out with dae and she was ok with it. So dae and I decided to just hang out. So we planned to go to Lue's place and he wasn't home apparently. Then we were hungry and we went to arbys. The weird part that day was that we both went to Arbys after this one guy left. When we were inside, it felted kinda weird because there was nobody there but just dae, me and the 2 employees there. The service was fast too. haha. I suggest that dae and I sit alone in our own separate corner of the place but then it felted too weird already saying that. So we just sat in one corner and it was weird because it was just dae and me eating and laughing so much but most of the time we just talk about how strange that place was. It felted that we were the only customer of the day or something. After Arbys we went to walgreens to buy a gift for dae's niece and nephew.We took our time because we were decisive on what to buy. I bought 2 stuff bear, one for my special person and one for dae's special person who is unknown to me and a pack of condoms with 3 piece for my brother because he told me to get some I guess, maybe because he was afraid because dae was afraid to be around me with the condoms. lol. After walgreens we went back to my place to just hang out and dae and I was just talking and we spented 1 or 2 hours just talking. Then we he went home I got bored and I checked the caller ID and it seemed like doua called me from joua's cell phone. So I called doua back and she was pissed off as hell. I asked what was wrong and she started swearing about how joua and her girlfriends only went shopping for about 1 hour and that 2 of her friends went to the mall because they had to go to work. It was only 2 hours because joua couldn't stay out that long because yee (joua's brother) had to go to work in a hour or so, so joua had to get back. She told me that the reason why she called me was to go to the mall with her to go shopping with her because and them were leaving. And she was so piss off at me because I wasn't home when she called. This is the part that I don't get, 1) she ditched me for her friends, 2)I told her that I'm going out then, and she told me to go have fun, and 3)she is mad at me because she told me to go have fun and that I wasn't home?. So I don't know what her problems was but then it seemed like she blames me for her bad decision. Yet it was not my fault one bit. So she got mad at me and hung up on me. So right now all I know for sure is that she has a very, I mean very, short temper. People says that she's a good kid at school but that's not her true self when she is around me. Then she called me back and she was still mad. And she told me good night and she was going to take her shower, then she told me not to call her back because she gets really irritated when we said good night and I call her back. So After saying good night I just went and putted the phone back in it's charger. Then for whatever reason, my brother told me that someone was one the phone with me and I thought that it would be someone else than doua, but it turns out that it was her. And it seems like she was the hypocrite telling me not the call her because it's very irritating and yet she just called me back. But it was a good reason why she called me, she called to apologize to me, and never in my relationship with her, have I seen this, where she calls me back and apologizes to me, it was more like she never called back at all or I just called her to apologize. But this is the first. So I guess that we were back to ourself and nothing felted wrong between her and me, then I just went to sleep after that.

Yesterday was ok but then it wasn't that interesting, it's just that mimi came back from college for her winter break, and we went to hang out and stuff. The old things that we used to do. Then today, I went to doua's house in the morning around 6am and heh I try knocking on her door but no luck. I went that early because I couldn't sleep at all the night before so I just played game all night long and I wasn't tired somehow. Then I wait some more when it was around 6:35 so I went knocking and seems like she was up now. She invited me in and we were just talking about things. And apparently she got me some gifts, and it was 2 teddy bear, seems like a cute gift from a short temper girlfriend I guess. Anyhow, I sent her to school and then I went home and I slept for 4 hours. And I called dae to see if he wanted to go shopping with doua and I today because today was her day off work this week. I could tell that dae didn't want to because he thinks that he had no choice. So he came and picked me up and we went to doua and this time it seems that doua wanted to go with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. So I guess that she was didn't want to go with me or something because she was also going to get a gift for me too but then I didn't want any gifts from her because it would turn out to be more worst if I had accept, why?, because it's just something that only I would understand because of the things between her and me. So I told doua that I was going and I told her not to get mad later and I know that she would. I told her to call my dad's cell phone in case she has a change of plans. So I called mimi and she wanted to go shopping too and lue said that he was busy babysitting but he was a liar, because he came with us. Then doua called me and told me that her sister wasn't going to go until later and then I asked her what she wanted me to do? because she called me and told me that she can't go until 6pm or something and it was around 4pm when she called me. So I asked if she wanted us to go pick her up or something?, so we did and we went to arbys to eat and then we went to maplewood mall and we went shopping for gifts. It took forever because we went here and there to check things out and doua didn't even know what to buy. It ended up that she only bought a gift for her secret santa, which was a bracelet. So it was already 8:30 around this point and we had to take lue home because he had to go to work. After dropping lue off then mimi it was only doua,dae and I and we were talking about what I saw like last month. I told her that I saw a ghost or something and she asked me why I didn't tell her brfore. Pretty obvious because that was when she already broke up with me. And we're back together now. I also told her that I wanted to get sat on (only people who is hmong and understand shamanism)to see what it was like and hmm...she got piss off at me and said that I was a fucking asshole. I was pretty mad when she said that because I don't think that I deserve to be called that especially coming from my own girlfriend. What she should know is that I was only joking because I wouldn't want that at all. I guess that I was testing how much she care for me and I wanted to see how she responded. But it seems that she doesn't care that much, I thought that she would have said something like this "why would you want that" or something like "Trust me, it's not what you want" but instead I got "Why are you such a fucking asshole". Interesting response that was. So the rest of the way to her house nobody talked in the car. Then later she called me and this time she didn't apologize, she just called to tell me that she was going to sleep, and I find that it was pretty lame how she cussed at me and didn't see anything wrong with that. It was even the first time too that she cuss right in my face. Yet there was no sympathy coming from her tonight. She really is short temper. But I don't blame her because I don't want to call her something for what she's really not. There may be reason why she is always mad. Like she might be going through a lot of stress. Or maybe school is putting too much pressure on her. There's a lot of things going on but I don't want to say something that's not true so I take back all the nicknames I called her especially calling her a short temper girlfriend. That was for the day and I pretty worn out so I'm just going to go to sleep now.

Current Mood: stressed

Today I woke up because Doua called me like 7:00am in the morning just to tell me that she doesn't want to go to school because she hates it. I guess I just gave her a advice saying that school was important to students like her. Then I don't know why, but she asked me if she could come to my house for the day and skip school. I was thinking that I shouldn't let her come because it'll be kinda bad if my parents sees her and will think that somethings up. On the other hand, I felted like I wanted to help her, because I know what kinds of things that she is going through, and they are very personal and complicated, that's what I think. So I took my dad's truck and went to the park to pick her up and basically we just went back to my house to hang out, but the weird part is that Doua didn't expected my dad to be home so she asked me to go cruise around for a little bit more. Interesting how she is scared of just my dad. Then Doua and I just hang out the whole day doing nothing at all. basically it was okay, because I had someone to talk to, compared to the other endless days with just me home alone. Then later I found out that doua didn't eat anything since yesterday and it seems like she was trying to starve herself or something. So I offer her some food but she decline. I even offer her a drink of juice and was rejected, but then it's not my choice, because I don't want to force her to eat something when she doesn't want to. Then later Doua said that she was feeling a bit sick like she was about to throw up and she had a stomach ache and yet I offer her medicine and was decline. But that wouldn't have happen if she would've listen to me. So it was getting close to 2:00pm when she was usually going home and she was going to go to work later too at 5:00pm. Then dae called and came over and we decided to send doua home because I didn't want her parents to be thinking about bad about me.

After sending Doua home David Thao, Lue, and I went to the theater to see the movie "ERAGON" it was a cool movie, that's my opinion. It somehow seems like another one of those Lord of the Rings trilogy or something. I would tell the cool parts and all but I don't want to ruin the movie for you guys. But I enjoyed the movie. Afterwards we went to arby's and we order like 4 orders of the 5 for $5.95 and it was too much for Dae, Lue, and me. At time I felted like I was about the throw up at any moment. Funny thing was, I felted gassy lol.

After coming home, dae and lue decided to hang out for a bit longer. But for me, I somehow felted tired from all the laughing and food that we ate. But then we had more laughs. After they left, I waited until 11:00pm and called Doua to see if she was ok, but it turns out that she didn't go to work at all, she caught the flu I guess, because she said she threw up a couple of times. Hopes she gets well. Then I came online and decided to get something on ebay as a present for my sister, since my family is playing the secret santa game. It wouldn't be fair for me not to get my sister anything and I got something from one of my family members.

Well, feeling tired now, so I'm going to sleep for another restless day tomorrow.

Current Mood: amused

*AHHHH* Damn I'm so piss off right now. So many stuff happening lately. Today I was ok in the morning but now everybody is just pissing me off. Yesterday Mimi told me something that I never thought that she would do. She kinda disappointed me in a way, because I never thought that she would do something that bad. And I'm just piss off at her for actually doing it. But it's none of my business, but as a friend since freshman year, I guess that her decision would affect me in a way. So I'll just stay out of her business from now on. Today I was feeling so tired because I went to sleep at 3am and woke up at 6 then went back to sleep and woke up at 11am because david thao called. He wanted to hang out I guess, which would be nice because I'm always stuck at home nowadays. *sigh* We went to arby's and Maipacher Her works there and heh I thought that we'll get a discount heh but it doesn't matter to me if we did or not anymore. But when we saw her there I knew something was up on her mind. She looked kind sad and I wanted to help because I guess I'm a sucker for knowing when people are sad and I want to cheer them up. But she tried so hard to laugh and I guess I felted bad, because I was making jokes and I'm not really sure if she was really laughing or maybe she is just faking it. I just hope that she feels better. Then I went to Doua's place and she said that she was taking her permit so I killed some time spending time hanging out with david. When we got to doua's I knew that she wasn't home so I told david if he was ok waiting heh. I feel bad asking him to do that. I think I do it too often. But when doua got home she asked me how to work her sister's mp3 player and I told her that I'll take it and see what's up with it. So david and I left for Target and we went looking around for some present for david's little niece and ended up getting a movie of superman returns.lol funny. Then we dropped back at doua's because I forgot the installation CD for the mp3 player. Then we dropped back at my place and went on the net to check things out like halo glitches and etc. Then I called doua and she said that she was going shopping and I guess that I felted like she doesn't want to do anything with me anymore. I don't know if that's good or not. Then I took a nap and it was already 1 1/2 hours that she was gone, and that is freaken long (to me). it was already 7:40pm and she left at 6pm. And she was still shopping. Then I went downstairs to my living room and my parents were talking to me and I was not in the mood but I was taking it well. My parents asked me about me and Doua to see what we were always talking on the phone. I told my mom that we were talking about nothing basically, just things to make each other laugh and mad. Then my dad was talking to me and he talked to me about my job about how they fired me already and that I didn't know when. And my parents were calling me stupid for not realizing it and it's more like they don't realize that I was the one that quited. I didn't tell them that I quited because they expected so much out of me like I'm going to be the only one with a good life. So I didn't want to disappoint them so I guess that I lied to them. But now I'm just going to play some video games.

Current Mood: pissed off

Today was just like every other days. But today I woke up and I actually had a nice dream in a long time. Today I just spented all day playing Final Fantasy 12 and I was bored all day with nothing else to do. Then it was already night, and my parents been arguing all day long and I don't want to be nosy and telling them what's the smart choice and what's not. It's between my parents but yes it's involves us but then even if I say something it'll get even worse. Right now I just heard that the door to my parent's room been torn down. And I can heard my parents yelling and my sister kablia just told me that my dad is calling my mom's relative and telling them that my dad doesn't want my mom anymore and that he's going to send her back. Damn I don't believe this, I thought that everything was going fine between my parents but then I guess that they putted us before them, but ever since my dad been going to her mistress, things started falling apart. I am powerless in this kind of things. I think that my parents are going to divorce and I'll be stuck with only one of them. *sigh* Right now I don't know what to say or do anymore.

Current Mood: confused

Today was the last day and it wasn't that fun from yesterday. But then I got so mad for no fucking reason. First I got up in the morning and went to my workplace and picked up my paycheck. Then I went to Target and bought Doua a present because it was her birthday today, and I also bought her a card. Then When I left I told her to call me when she gets to the Hmong New Year and she said ok she would. So I left back home and then Yee and Yolei came to pick me up to go to the new year. It was around 12pm and I went around with Yee and Yolei for about 1 hour or so, and then decided to give Doua a call and her mom said that she left some time ago. So I figure that she was at the new year already so I called her sister's cell phone and asked for Doua. And she said that Doua was still home when they left so I guess that she already got dropped off at the new year. So I was still waiting for her to call me and she didn't, like she said she would. So I waited all day long for her lying ass and I was so piss for no fucking reason. But I didn't show my feelings. So it was between 5pm and 6pm that we decided to go home and on the way to Yee's car, Doua finally called me and I asked her if she came to the New Year and she said that she only came for 2 hours, so I didn't know why she didn't call me or anything. Then she asked if we could go pick her up and go back to the new year so I said sure. But then yee, yolei and I got hungry and we dropped by McDonalds and ate first. After that we went to pick up Doua and went back to the new year but this time it was only doua and me that was going, because yee and yolei wanted to go home. So we got dropped off and we first went to get some food because doua was hungry, and I wasn't. Then we went to the second floor of the Exel Center and sat in the balcony, and we were watching the performance and eating the food that she bought. After that we got bored and went back to the first floor and went looking around for something interesting. But then the After Party started and we stayed there for about an hour or so, and I called for my ride. Then Doua told me that they reason that she was gone when I was calling all those time for her was because she went with a guy to Killer Park just for a walk with him. And she also told me that they reason why she was there at the new year for 2 hours and didn't called because she was with him too at the new year. Then I told her that he likes Doua and Doua didn't want to believe that, because Doua just sees him as a friend, and I told her that, there was a good reason why guys do those things because they want to tell the girls something. So that guy that doua went walking with was really telling doua that he likes her. So, I guess that I waited all day for her and spented all that time waiting and looking for her, was for no reason because she was with another guy. So basically I was stood up by Doua. Doua stood me up. SHIT!!. So all that time I spent with her, after picking her up after she got dropped off being with him was shit. I felted like I was like a fucking person that was used. Like she got bored of that other guy and then wanted to hang out with me because she wants to have a fun time and all. And yet, FUCK!!, we aren't even dating and I"m getting mad over this shit for nothing. *sigh* To her, she doesn't even see or care about my feelings anymore. She just wanted to hang out with guys that will keep her company and make her not feel bored, and yet I was fucking bored as hell waiting at the new year for her when she was out with another guy having fun. And then she called me when my brother dropped her off, and she suggested that we be friends and not close friends and told that she won't like that and she said that she knows that I won't like it either. But she was right, I don't like it but then after what she did to me, I don't know if I still want to be close friends with her anymore, because if I do, then everytime she does something that I don't like I will kinda get mad anyways so I told her that we should give it a shot. But since she didn't like the idea she told me that we should give it a shot for 1 week and, *sigh* I honestly didn't give a shit at the point anymore. So I just told her, sure. I try to remain calm when talking with her, but I felted like yelling at her, but I don't have that kind of rights anymore. So I just backed down and pretend that everything was alright. And I also told her not to hate me because I was forcing myself to be cold-hearted so that I won't feel anything, but at time I feel things but just act like I don't give a shit. And yet she told me not to force myself to be cold-hearted and in my mind I was about to tell her to mind her own damn business, because I wasn't telling her what to do and that she has no rights to order me around like that. So right now, I'm kinda glad that it's a week of loneliness because I guess that I just want to be alone right now, just from her because she is driving my insane. I'm just mad at Doua but then I'm just basically not showing her any anger or any feelings of my jealousy. I just feel like she is using me for the time being so that she can get over her feelings of me and get another guy before she loses me. But I told her that this friday I'll call her and we'll talk about what would happened to us next. But yea I'm tired now so I'm going to sleep after a long day of waiting my ass off for a heartless person.

Current Mood: angry

Today was the 2nd day of the Hmong New Year, and it was cool as hell(to me). I haven't had this much fun in a long time. When I got to the new year, David Thao, Mimi Lee went through security and they got scanned with the metal detector and when I went through security they just waved at me to just go,haha. So we basically was just going look around and stuff. Then we waited for yee to come at around 1pm or so. After that we waited for yolei also at 1pm or so. It was a long waiting, seriously. Then we met vang and nalee xiong and sheng xiong. And I came up with this corny game that picks the victim and then the groups picks the prey. First victim was Vang and we told him to go hit on this one nerdy cute girl and try and get her phone number. So Vang acting like he was tough, went over to her and ask her for her number and somehow, damn, it was just luck because she gave him her phone number. Next Victim was Sheng Xiong and we told her to go hit on this one guy in the corner and she didn't want to at all and somehow she just got up and went and asked him for his # and got lucky too, damn(lol). Then Mimi went to ask this one guy # but then she asked if he had a girlfriend first, baka mimi. After that Doua came and we met up with each other and all but then mimi was saying how this one cute girl looked like and I saw her and she was alright to me. Then Doua and the rest of us left and we were going to go to the second floor to watch a performance and Mimi went to ask that one girl's number and somehow she was good with that somehow. And she gave her # to her and she brought it to david. Interesting. After spending about $40 already, I think that I want to save it now. So I didn't spend anymore but somehow I felted like I wanted to. We were ready to leave and go home but we had to wait for yolei's dad to come pick her up first before we go. So After she got picked up we went and it was freezing cool outside. We walked a couple of blocks and my hands were getting numb already. Mimi was going back to her dorm in minneapolis and we waited with her for her bus then after she left I got dropped off first because I was the closest one in the car. After that was Doua, then david and I guess that yee went home after that. But I think that yee had to go back to the hmong new year because joua was still there(lol). Then I just came here to type my entries and well I guess that I'm going to sleep because I think that I have work tomorrow but not sure because they called me today also. My workplace must've wanted to tell me something. So I guess that I'll call them tomorrow. Well I"m going to sleep, it was a fun day, and now I'm tired.

Current Mood: good

Today I woke up and was feeling a bit tired, but I played a little bit of video games to keep me awake. And I just remember that I had work today because I wanted to work today. But I guess that I was lucky because I saw this one girl at work and she came to order some food from my workplace. After getting her her food, I was serving other customers and was finish with that afterwards. Then the girl was looking at me from one of the tables that she was at. I can tell that she was looking at me because I looked over and then she looked away everytime. Then after about 10 min or so, she came up to me and asked me my name. I was laughing and then point out to her that I have a name tag with my name and told her my name was Wang. It was pretty funny. I asked why she wanted to know and she told me that she just wanted to know who I am. So I'm not assuming anything here but I think that she has an interests in me or something. But then she told me her name was Lilia but she didn't tell me her last name. But I know that she was one of the refugee hmong people because they were speaking very good hmong. I asked them what they wanted to drink in english and the mother asked me if I was hmong or not and I said I was in hmong and she told me why aren't I speaking hmong to her then because she doesn't understand english at all, because they recently just came from Laos. But one of her daughters was the girl that asked me for my name. Interesing, because she kinda looked cute to me, compare to other girls that I saw ordering from my workplace. And something else happened that I thought was strange. My co-workers in the backroom of my workplace was talking and stuff, and I went back there to grab something for a customer and one of them asked me if I hated him or something. And I was like wth, why would he think that. I told him no that I didn't hate him, but I guess that he assumed that because I don't usually talk a lot to people that I don't know much about. I guess that he was the one that wanted to hate me or something haha. I guess that he was assuming that I don't like him or something. Well I"m going to sleep now. It's late.

Current Mood: tired